It’s ever only you.
I could write a thousand words, a thousand ways, and I would fail, every, single, time. I don’t have enough to say, or as many ways to say what I mean when I break and say just three simple words. I miss you.
So much that it climbs up my face, and closes my nose, and fills up my eyes, and here is the truth, I never have to lie, because I bury it so deep, so often, no one knows but me. I ache for you at times, it actually hurts in a funny way, because it isn’t like real pain, it’s more like a loss sustained. It is a lack that never ceases to be, it is a hole that was left when it stopped being you and me.
It’s a kind of death, to know what you have always wanted, and what you will never have, because you have had it. What a terrible measure to take, your heart would break, and break, and break, endlessly, so long as you breathe. But it’s not all the time, mostly I shut you out of my mind.
Who cares who wonders, I know you read this and know, I love you as much as the first time I knew this was true, and I hate so much, that I hide so much inside, for what good would it do me to swallow my pride?
Oh it stings at times.
And I just shake my head, angry and weak.
Still wishing more than anything, you were here next to me.
I can pretend holding someone else is like holding you, but I don’t always have the strength to make that lie truth. So I just use imagination, to give my hands the same sensation, and if she asks me why I sigh, well, what choice do I have but to lie and lie and lie.
I’ve been with this one, loved with that one, cared for this one, left with no one. So maybe this is why I always feel alone, because you are the only thing I’ve ever felt I’ve known, and known me, but this is only what is, not some desperate plea.
I’m just some guy who writes poetry, or something like it, see?
For example, let me give you some romance,
I will always love you, so much, and I would jump as far as my old legs would allow, if it meant I could be with you somehow. This old fool, will always be in love with you.
God damn my leaking eyes, spilling out like the storm outside.
I miss you.