I briefly roamed the byways of You Tube* this evening and happened to come across a trailer for the upcoming film, 2012.  It appears to be a sequel of sorts.  There was Independence Day, Armageddon, Meteor, The Day After Tomorrow, and so on.  I suppose we could title this one,

“Armageddon comes Independently the Day after Tomorrow in 2012…because of a Meteor”

In short, John Cusack, Amanda Peet, and a few holly-brats manage to evade impending doom several times while billions around them die in spectacular, over-the-top cataclysmic disasters.

This is the fiction.  The reality is sadder I think.

There is a surprising amount of people that firmly believe either the above scenario will occur in 2012, or something similar.

Really people?….  “but, but, it’s the end of the Mayan calendar!  they plotted the stars, and were very sophisticated astronomers, they could telllll the futureeeee…..!!!”

Listen my friends.  It’s all well and good to wax nostalgic about mystical days of old, when puma-face the shaman could blow smoke up his peoples asses, but still?  One thing I’ve learned so far walking on this mud-ball is that being a successful charlatan is virtually effortless.  People are all too willing to believe pretty much whatever nonsense you feed them so long as they feel “in on it”.  In the next couple of years expect apocalypse books, movies, and related quasi-spiritual quackery to boom.

You want prophecy?  There you go.

Lucky for all those Mensa candidates snapping up their copies of “Left Behind Book 50”, they will now be secure in the knowledge that should an “end of the world” conversation arise while amongst friends, they will know what is ACTUALLY going to happen.  You know, as opposed to everyone else.


Those Mayan folk were really something.  They built those big-ass rock piles with steps designed to ensure that blood sacrifice will continue, one way or another.  They plotted stars, made calendars, built roads….etc. etc.

Then one fine day, some dude in a pointy hat with fifty other dudes and some horses sailed on in.  Granted, he had some rifles, and smallpox, but still.

The Mayans had thousands, and thousands of whooping savages with axes and what-not.  Still, pointy hat and a dozen horses spelled the end for that entire CIVILIZATION.  This is somewhat like the scene in the Princess Bride where a weakened Wesley and Inigo pushed a flaming Andre the Giant in a cart.  The sixty soldiers at the gate ran screaming.  Why?  Because they were superstitious idiots.

Okay…follow the logic here….if the soldiers ran because they were weak-minded superstitious idiots, then the Mayans got served in similar fashion because….

Right, so lets all follow the Mayan calendar, which may, or may not say the end of the world is in 2012!  As if Mayans had any fucking clue about the Roman Calendar, or the revised Roman Calendar…oh, wait, maybe they meant the one revised after that one…or perhaps the Orthodox….


Until the next doomsday date starts making the rounds…


Live it, Love it (ignore it.)



*(I also watched a trailer for Zombieland, and holy crap that looks cool.  Best role I’ve ever seen Woody take.  Natural Born what..?)