Little people, Big laughs.

(Okay, while I work on some new stuff, here’s a fine “little” entry from the good old myspace archives.  I’m sure many of you have heard of the recent movement to ban the word “midget” to refer to, well, fucking midgets.  It is with that movement in mind that I re-post this homage to the classic TLC reality series, Little people, Big world.  er…is “fidget” still okay?)



Oct 17, 2006



I can’t help it, I really can’t.

I watch TLC, and all of the sudden, that show comes on.  That show with the fucking midgets.  Little people, Big world.

I know it’s wrong, I know it.  But god damn it, watching those little creatures hobbit around is just too much.  I find myself giggling constantly, and I watch the two brothers, one a midg’, and the other normal sized, and christ, that poor little bastard must hate god with a vengeance.

Yes, I can hear the goody two shoes among you now, oh, but look at that courage!  Look at the strength in their little bodies!

As for me,

I happen to think our good Lord, in his infinite wisdom, placed these small people with their large deformed heads on this earth purely for the enjoyment of others.  I believe an executive at TLC was contacted by the almighty Hebrew god, and commanded to create a show so that we may enjoy a hearty chuckle as we gobble down spoonfuls of edys brand nestle toll house cookie chunk ice cream.

I admit I could be wrong, but I doubt it.


(Someone make sure to toss sunscreen in my casket.  SPF…4000 or so?..)

One reply

  1. Grammar Slammer says:

    Something is driving me crazy. And I know you ‘couldn’t’ care less (another thing that is driving me crazy because if you COULD care less, well then you COULD fucking care less and it DOES matter to you a little bit…hello?), but I’m going to tell you anyway.

    The phrase is “all of ‘a’ sudden”. NOT “all of ‘the’ sudden”. GODDAMNIT! You are such an amazingly talented writer, who speaks, reads, and writes in more than one language to boot, but get your idioms straight!!!

    Thank you.

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