(I never did tell who this was about, or why I wrote it. I still have no intention of doing so, however, I still feel a small twinge when I read it.)

 

 

October 20, 2005.

So we stood there, in the parking lot, walking past, we clashed, and lips met in furious abandon.  How strange it was, to not know you, yet feel as I did, what a perfect match, what a perfect mouth.  Like a well oiled lock finding its long lost key, my mouth cried out joyfully, knowing it had found something special.

The scene shifted, into the bar, some time later, and what magnets we were, unable to remove our hands from one another, wanting to feel, wanting to hold, urgency guided our actions, recklessness left us astounded, regret left you breathless, and fulfillment left me incredulous.  How could you be what you were? How could you have me so completely? How could you leave me alone, with nothing, without you.  Not to hold, not to feel, not to love, it was not planned, but it was done.

So I buried you deep, and forgot, every now and again, a hand broke through the surface, reminding me, that what is real cannot be hidden forever.  Convincing myself that I did not want what I wanted was the greatest lie I ever told, and I told it well, and now, we speak, and we laugh, and we are friends.  Yet I yearn for that girl, who leaned over a table, to kiss me hello.

for you.