Monthly Archives: February 2008

A brief start, and things to come.

(I am thinking of expanding upon this, for some reason, I enjoy stories about flesh eating monsters very much, they creep me out, but I cannot get enough of them, yes, I find it strange as well.  Speaking of flesh eating monsters, I have much to say on the topic of Tori Spelling (you said what Tobas??), yes Tori Spelling, and, that godforsaken piece of garbage that had the moral inepititude to cuckold her poor idiot of a husband on national television.  This is what happens when Tobas sits in doctors offices all day, with nothing on but cackling hens on the view, and people magazine to read.  No wonder this nation is going in the toilet….perhaps this is why I enjoy these doomsday zombie stories, because it might be worth it just to see these soul-less wretches have their limbs torn off by bloodthirsty cameramen and producers) 

 I remember that first day so well.

No one knew what was going on at first. Only a few of us had a clue as to why our loved ones suddenly turned on us, deaf to pleas for mercy. They ripped each other to pieces, whole families, tearing each other apart. Father and mothers, snarling, dangling infant limbs from mouths running red with innocent blood.

Soccer moms fled ballfields, eyes wide with terror. “Jimmy’s tee-ball game is postponed this evening on account of the field crawling with carnivorous humanoids.” I laughed crazily thinking about the phone calls that must have flown around following those first few days of chaos. A few of us, who read and watched books and movies on this, we had an idea. So, armed with crobars and hospital scrubs, we organized into small bands, crushing soft rabid skulls methodically.

a monk.

Another day, another book.  This time, it is a so far very enjoyable novel entitled, A monk jumped over a wall, by Jay Naussbaum.  Like every novel I have read recently, something jumped out at me.

“Well,” I took another drink, “one day you’ll what I’m talking about.  You don’t choose it, and if it chooses you, you don’t fight it.” My head felt heavy.  Ed seemed farther away than he was.  I looked down into my glass.  “You just trust it, and no matter where it takes you, you go.  Because even if it takes you through hell, you survive.  And even the burns, they’re okay, you know?  They brand you.  They leave you with something, I don’t know… something.”

“But why would it take you through hell in the first place, is my point.”

“I don’t know,” I said.  “Love’s a miracle; maybe you’re supposed to have to earn it.”

“What a romantic.”

“Okay then, you tell me- why would I choose this?  Over the past few months, this woman has annihilated me.  Why do you think I still want her back?”

These questions are perplexing, and very real. 

quiet hunger.

It’s really not working.  None of it.  So little by little, you just say goodbye, until there are only a few very essential things left to say goodbye to.

This has been a very quiet place, so when I write here, It is as if I am having an internal discourse.  This is necessary at times.

I think I have just about tied up all the loose ends.

So, this way, most everything is taken care of.  Now all that is left is me.  People are funny that way.  No one knows me at all.  I am a terrible liar.  Well no, let me amend that.  I am a fantastic liar.  What is truly terrible is how skilled I am at it.  I hated being lied to, but a part of me could appreciate a convincing lie when I heard it.  I was the consumate professional, listening to my craft, and in that detached part of me, nodding with approval.

Like everything else, it does get tiring.  At some point, you just don’t want to do it anymore.  I still have my mask on for the moment, my pretty, witty mask.  I’m starting to sweat underneath, so, it may be time to remove it soon.

I chose the wrong path.  I am a born actor.  Like every typecast actor however, this role does get to be a burden.

I let go.  Then so did everyone else.  Just as it should be.

The Random Factor.

And so it was, that Random Factor had fallen in love with the girl sent to destroy him.  Too young, and indeed cursed.  I love stories from the world of Xanth.

“It has started with the kiss.  He had seen her laugh, and just had to kiss her.  Then the little orbiting hearts had enclosed them, and it was love.  They had been destined, or enchanted, to fall in love at their first opportunity.  He with her, so that he could not avoid her.  She with him so that she would constantly seek him out.  That was the first half of the trap.  Now they both wanted to avoid the second half.”

“How could they escape it, when they couldn’t stay away from each other?  That was the awful, wonderful challenge.  The Heaven and Hell of it.”

Thankfully for the denizens of Xanth, Piers Anthony is well in charge of things, and will certainly find a way for human turned centaur debra, and random factor to be together, despite a large and inappropriate difference in age, and several magically challenging obstacles.

Real life is hardly as accommodating.