I watched eternal sunshine of the spotless mind for what must have been the fiftieth time last night, but this time, I did not watch it alone.

I remember wanting that done to me so badly.  Imagine my surprise when I discovered that memories and people can be effectively erased.  The first method I investigated, was using drugs, this link is indicative of what I discovered.


This one was also particularly exciting for me,


Then, I read this paragraph, a direct quote from a memory researcher,

“Let me give a caveat to that. Let’s suppose I said I am going to say a word to you and then I am going to use a new magical technique that technology has provided to eliminate that memory. So now I say “bicycle” and I go zap. Now think about bicycle. I said the word bicycle, but you know the general meaning of bicycle, you know what a bicycle looks like, you may remember a specific bicycle, you may remember having done something on a specific bicycle, and you remember how to ride a bicycle. Did I get rid of all of those? Not very likely, because those are all very deeply embedded in all kinds of memories that you have. Let’s suppose that I did get rid of all of those; then you’d lose a huge portion of your life. Everything you knew about riding a bicycle would go, which would mean everything connected to that would also go. Your home, your family would be gone, and it can’t work that way. There is an interconnectedness to the knowledge we have. Information does not exist in the abstract.”

I realized that this made a lot of sense.  So, by erasing Danielle from my mind, which I fully intended on doing, I would likely end up either killing, or dulling many memories involving my children.  It is for this reason, and this reason alone that I did not consent to a combination of hypno- and electroshock therapy.

Those two things, plus a revolutionary new drug called propranolol is really the best way to go about it.  I was informed of this by a small laboratory call New Day, which specialized in smoking cessation and weight loss hypnosis.  I was skeptical at first, but after doing my own research, I discovered that they not only were correct, they were also thorough. 

The shock therapy and and hypnotherapy condition your mind to not recall that person/memories, then, the propranolol disconnects the memories from charged emotions, so that it does not come rushing back during a fit of sadness or blind rage one day. 

The process was outlined to me, I made a monetary deposit (the entire process from beginning to end was 700 dollars), and I anxiously waited.  I spoke to several psychologists regarding my upcoming procedure.  The general concensus was “this is dangerous and a very poor way of dealing with painful memories”.  Of course, I only had one real concern.


“Will it work?”


Every single reply, with much hesitation is some cases, was “yes”.  My current professor, Dr. David W. Harmon, also confirmed this for me, had I gone through with it, I would have been looking at Danielle as if she were virtually a stranger for some time now.  Not only would this have been incredibly satisfying, it would have saved me months of emotional anguish.  Yet, knowing how likely it would be to damage other things I wanted to keep, and, the knowledge that I would piss off my girlfriend to the Nth degree (I still do not entirely believe her, but she claimed she would never speak to me again if i had gone through with the procedure) kept me from writing a check for the remaining amount.

They were very understanding, and returned my deposit happily.  It gave me the impression that they were loath to do this to me as well.  The secretary merely handed me an envelope and smiled. 

Being heartbroken sucks.  And there are ways to fix it, and to grow from it.  But sometimes it stagnates, and begins to tear at the seams of your life.  In that case, it is comforting to know that there are ways to erase that pain.

Just because I didn’t do it then, doesn’t mean I wouldn’t do it.  Let me also add that most people will tell you this is not possible.  Or, that it cannot be done, or that it can be done, but not in a realistic and all encompassing way.

Those people are either mis-informed, or flat out liars.  Lacuna is a fake company, and the movie procedure is also fake.  But erasing someone is very real, and it can be done.  I will not be giving out the information, but if any of you are genuinely curious, I will be happy to point you in the right direction. 


“A moment lasts all of a second, but the memory lives on forever.”


Not anymore.


Live it, Love it, (Forget it)




(P.S.  She basically spent the entire movie telling me how much she hated it, but it was the idea of it,  not the movie itself, which even she would have to admit was good)

*** As you can see, this was posted in March, of 2007.  It is now October of 2008.  Dr. Tsiens research was not made public until the reports were submitted this month.***