Danielle, the empire strikes back!

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Now, before I begin, I would like to preface this entry with a little known fact. 

I have made more than my share of blunders in dating and romance.  There are people and situations I regret mightily, for many reasons.  But, there are none that I regret and kick myself for as much as this one, even to this day.  I still get testy about this one.  So, sit back, relax, grab a beer, better yet, grab a shot, or maybe two.  When this is over, I know I will.  Yes, this was just over a decade ago, yes, it was high school, and finally, yes, it still feels like it happened yesterday.  So, without further a-do,

Danielle Saga Part 2. 

(When theres trouble, you call D.W.)

This tale of woe begins in my junior year of John F. Kennedy High.  I had just finished my wrestling season, and I was rediscovering all sorts of things I had denied myself for the sake of sport.  Things like food, water, and looking at girls.  I remember looking at one girl in particular that season, she was on the basketball team.  She was a short little thing, but she matched the ferocity of her lesbian opponents, and it impressed me, even through my haze of starvation and deprivation.  I remember one instance, sitting in the bleachers with some teammates, watching them play.  The resident bad-ass at our school was a boy by the name of mike morrison.  He turned to me and said, “hey, look at number 10, shes a cute chick”.  I remember being surprised for two reasons, one, I couldn’t believe I had never noticed her, and two, I was instantly jealous of him for saying that.  I made a mental note, but the season was still in full swing, so I left it alone.

Finally, the months passed, and the most important part of the year faded into a dull time between the start of spring, and the end of the school year.  It was then that I ran into Danielle two once again.  At the time, I had just quit being a band student, which all of the sudden left me with seventh period free.  Sometimes, I would go into the class of one Mr. Pagivalas (that spelling may be incorrect, but it matters little).  He was an art teacher who had great respect for my athletic ability, and also happened to be the official scorer for all of our matches.  So, instead of spending time in the library, or playing sim city for the billionth time (all I did was sic large scale disasters and monsters on unsuspecting virtual cities anyway) I spent time going into his class, and getting to know Danielle two a bit better.  To say that I was nervous is like calling D-day a small skirmish.  There was not a young lad in wrestling tights in the entire county that could un-nerve me the way that girl could.  She didn’t even have to try, I mostly tripped up over myself out of sheer inexperience.  She had been dating a boy from another school, but she was single again soon enough.  I did not have the nerve to tell her I had not had a girlfriend before, and come to think of it, I don’t think anyone knew that, it was way too embarrassing.  I knew I needed an “in”, and I thought, at the time, I was very lucky to have a “friend”, that knew her as well, and acted as a sort of go-between.

This friend, Matt, knew us both, and I frequently relied on him for advice on matters concerning her.  Dear reader, close your eyes for a moment, (after you read this of course!) and picture millhouse from the simpsons, sans glasses.  Yes, he was definitely millhouse.  Nevertheless, through his efforts, and my own fascade in place, I finally convinced her to “go steady”.  I cannot convey through words alone how happy I was at this development, but I had a lot to learn.  See, some of you may know the term “goyme”, and some of you may not.  For those of you unfamiliar, I will clarify,

Goyme, means a non-jew.  A gentile, if you will.

I, my friends, am a goyme.  And a latin goyme at that.  Double Whammy.

So, to my dismay, I soon learned that as far as her parents were concerned, I was the “spanish tutor”.  Regardless, I was still happy as hell to be with her, and thought nothing of my “friends” burgeoning friendship with her.  I remember one instance, on her birthday, I walked into her classroom right as it started, left a rose and a balloon on her desk, kissed her, and told her happy birthday.  Even now, thinking back on it, I have to admit, that kicked some ass.  Mostly, we would hang out after school, and fool around, which was fine, but I always felt bad, because she would purposefully miss the bus to stay with me, so, we started walking home together.  Mind you, she lived in merrick.  No, not right over the bellmore border merrick, this was almost freeport merrick.  So, it was a hell of a walk.  But she did it, and so did I.  One instance that stands out was the time I wanted to play basketball after school.  She said she would come and watch, and then walk home.  By herself.  So, basically, she missed her bus, watched me play basketball for a few hours, and walked home.  Now thats dedication.  But it was not long before things began to go wrong.

While our “friend” whispered in my ear, he whispered in her ear.  In my ear he would say things like, “It’ll never work because of the religion thing, it will make things hard on her, you would be doing her a favor, besides, summer is coming, all guys break up with their girlfriends before then.” 

O-K,  I can hear the screams already, HOW COULD YOU LISTEN TO THAT BUNK! STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!  And you would be one-hundred and thirty-five percent correct.  But please, remember, this was my very FIRST girlfriend, EVER.  Maybe, if I would have dated Danielle one before this, I could have kept my own counsel, as it was, I did not, and listened eagerly.  As I know she did as well.  He apparently would tell her things that appeared to be intimate secrets between us, but as I discovered later, were nothing more than things another boy had made up because he liked her and she rejected him.  He basically took those insults from that other boy, and made them my words.  I remember, it was some boy in her grade, by the name of Lou.  At any rate, since I knew nothing of this sabotage, I could not refute anything.  And by the time I discovered this treachery, millhouse was well on his way to a prom night slowdance.

To make matters worse, I finally decided I had to cut her loose.  For her own sake.  What a hero I was, what a martyr.

What a fucking moron.

It was one of the more heartbreaking conversations I have ever had.  Why?  Because I was breaking my own heart too, but thinking I was ultimately doing the right thing.  When I was really just a sucker.

So, in the end.  I had no girlfriend, and the next year, my good “friend”, ended up escorting the girl I loved to our prom, and I got stuck with some weird ass shaking chick from massapequa.  Prom night was fucking miserable.  Not just because my date ended up being the MC, (she was hired by the company, I found this out later when I ran into her at another party, working for them) but mainly because I had to watch her and sneaky millhouse slowdance the entire evening.  I had some problems properly displaying emotion at the time, but I think I can safely say now that I was pissed.  Fucking fuming.  And I held it all in.

Basically, I made a stupid decision, based on horrible, sneaky advice, that I was nieve enough to believe.

Ok, so here it is.  Danielle Weinstein, out of all the girls I dated in my life, the only one I consistently kick myself over thinking back on is you.  I am so sorry I listened to stupid Matt “millhouse”, and that I thought breaking up with you would be a good thing.  Once again, had I the ability to fly around the earth at superman like speeds, I would return myself to that time and throttle myself, and then promptly throw a stick of dynamite into Matts mouth like a bugs bunny cartoon.

Well dear reader, you may think this is not important, that none of this matters.  But, it matters to me.  And even though I’m sure shes long past any hard feelings, or any feelings on the matter at all, somewhere in there, if she sees this anyway, is getting some satisfaction in finally figuring this out.  I never did talk about this. 

After high school, I ran into her one more time.  It was at a No Doubt concert at Jones Beach.  I was going to the bathroom, and suddenly I heard someone call my name.  She was standing there, staring at me.  I stared back in shock, and everything came rushing back.  We chatted for a short while, and I returned to my seat, next to Danielle three.  She stayed on my mind for weeks after, but I was engaged, and that was that.

Fast forward to last week.  I send a message.  No response.  And yes, it made me sad, very sad.

Guys out there.  Word of advice.  If the girl you like, or the girl you are dating, has a best guy friend, treat him as your enemy.  Because, that is exactly what he is.  No matter how nice he might seem, he is just waiting, for you to fuck up.

 Ok, picture caption time!

(top row, left to right)

Pic 1+2 – This is a pic of the yearbook, I circled us in red, I am pinning someone on the top part, and she is doing her best patrick ewing impersonation on the bottom, coincedence?  The pic next to it is my wrestling pic from that year.

(middle) 

Pic 3 – This is the yearbook page, if you look close enough, you can see where she commented on my stupid yearbook quote.

(bottom row, left to right) 

Pic 4 – This is me, looking like a poofy headed mongoloid.

Pic 5 – And there she is.

Listen to your hearts people, not simpsons characters.

Live it, Love it,

-Tobas

3 replies on “Danielle, the empire strikes back!”

  1. Joe says:

    I remember back in the day I was somewhere, I forget the details, I think I walked into a deli or McDonalds or something. And Danielle was there with her Dad. I was hanging with someone, I think it was Tomer… not sure. Anyway we said wassup and I remember we ended up getting into conversation with her Dad. Him congratulating us on our wrestling season or something.

    Eitherway, the things I do remember was that you were intend on keeping your relationship with Danielle on the downlow because of the religion thing. Suddenly whoever I was with (I think Tomer) mentions, “yeah I heard Danielle and John are going out now.”

    Danielle’s Dad gives us a weird look, almost like a CIA agent ready to interrogate a captured combatant with a wet towel, a broom stick, a rubber hose, and a half-retarded pointing girl. He holds back and then says “Their just friends. Not boyfriend and girlfriend, just friends.”

    That was pretty much the end of the conversation.

  2. Tobas says:

    This is something I never knew. So, in retrospect I suppose Matt “millhouse” may have been right after all. I still shouldn’t have listened to him. It took me all these years to finally figure out that giving a shit what the parents of a person you love think is as stupid as listening to bad advice. That is not a mistake I will soon repeat.

  3. ! says:

    Humbert,

    Need I even say yet again that Danielle two is your Annabell Leigh? I don’t think so. Otherwise, you HAVE talked about this before, with me. Thanks for remembering that girl you are with now, ya know, girlfriend, whatever, pish posh.
    You are real good with that whole, break it off because of what her dad thinks, thing. Where have I seen that before??

    Love, Lo

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