PETA = PUKA.

I had planned to rant and rave about the evil that is PETA today, but then I discovered something amazing.  There are many, many, who are just like me, and see through this bullshit, propaganda pushing bunch of nutcases as well.

www.peta-sucks.com

brilliant.

Anyway, I hope that all those PETA folks out there catch a deadly disease, and the only cure comes from ground up puppy livers.  And their families too, for good measure.  If you think their terrorist tactics are purely altruistic, then you have a lot of growing up to do.  PETA is a tool like any other extremist group.  They are fed information, and then used to cause havoc.  The “corporations” they claim to be battling know how to play them like the dumb fucking self-hating fiddles that they are.

I can imagine a group of fat fucking cigar smoking white men sitting around a board room table, recalling humorous memories, “Hey bill, remember that time we sent those videos of the chicken plucking to PETA?  Haha, our buddies over at KFC sure took some shit for that, that’ll teach those bastards to report our unlawful logging to that conservation group!”  Do any of you really think these “activists” do a fucking shit of good, for anyone, or anything?  Were I a puppy, I would bite their fucking useless ankles.

Fur is dead!  Not nearly as dead as your moral compasses, you fucking tools.  You want to put animals above humans?  Ok great, why don’t you just kill yourself and then maybe you can come back as your favorite furry little pal, and frolic about.  Because if the hindus are right, you certainly aren’t coming back the same way you left.  To save my child, I will personally suck the blood from every last chinchilla, every last whooping crane, every last fucking endangered piece of shit flying, crawling, and swimming creature.  Oh, how typical, right?

Thats fucking right, I am a living creature on this planet too, and if those fucking bald eagles knew that snuffing a few humans would save some more chicks, loggers in the midwest would be dropping like flies.  The audacity of these fucking “activists” to assume that we are so much higher, and better than these animals, that we should not kill them, and eat them, and find better ways to live through them.  There is a term in biology that describes what I just stated, I think they call it, evolution.

So, in essence, were it up to PETA, we would never have started wearing animal skins to stay warm and survive a bit longer, we would have never developed techniques for raising and domesticating creatures for food and warmth, basically, civilization as we know it, would have come to a complete standstill, and we would most likely be extinct.  Ok, thats fine with me.  So all PETA subscribers, stop driving cars, stop using your ipods, and stop using the fruits of human progress altogether.  There was a ton of animal “cruelty” involved in the evolutionary process, so go back to scrabbling naked in a wild berry bush somewhere, because that is what your ancestors would have been doing were they stupid enough to believe what you do.

Oh, and while you are at it, perhaps you should send a delegation to yellowstone park, because even though most bears are omnivorous, they do prefer some good ol meat when they can get it, oh how cruel, they need a good talking to, preferably at close range, you can whisper all the secrets of good berry hunting.

So, to the president, and vice president of PETA, and all those awful, truly cruel people that spend their time supporting these lying terrorists, and enemies of humanity.  May your beautiful precious child desperately need a cure for a disease that involves animal testing.  Oh, and for those of you who believe in synthetic cures and vaccines, once again, you have years and years of painstaking animal testing to thank for that too.  It would not have been possible without the millions of dead little furries, so, go ahead, be a hypocrite and think that synthetics are a better alternative.

And finally, one last point.

Plant life, is life.  It may not curl up at your feet, it may not have soft fluffy fur, and it may not whimper when it is damaged.  But it lives, and it reproduces, and it fights for its life.  (Ever see two trees intertwined, doesn’t that look pretty?  Guess what?  They are fighting for the sunlight, and one will eventually smother the other one, granting it the right to make more seeds, and therefore, the better tree gets a better shot at reproduction, just because it happens over decades, doesn’t make it any less of a struggle to survive).

We are all fucking “murderers”.  Get over yourselves, you selective motherfuckers.  Self-righteous pieces of shit.  Every time I see celebrity anti-fur ads, I feel like dressing like huggie bear and walking around.  Nice oversized fur and a pimp hat, fur-lined of course.

My father had an interesting life.  He spent time jumping from ship to ship in the sixties, fleeing facist spain.  He ended up guarding a white area in apartheid south africa, he traded rum with kalahari tribesfolk, basically, he ended up doing what he had to in order to stay on the run.  On one occasion, he ended up on a ship that would stop and club baby seals for profit.  Like on every other ship, he was pressed into service, and he did what he had to.

He reluctantly told me tales of how vicious those little bastards could be, but he was lucky and managed to escape injury.  I always thought that was not a very nice thing to have to do, but given the circumstances he was faced with, he did what he had to, but now, well, after reading and watching these disgraces to humanity push their pablum, I have changed my opinion.

I’m proud of you dad.

Go to hell PETA, may you all die terrible and ironic deaths at the hands of your furry compatriots.

I am an animal too, which gives me every right to kill, and eat what was killed.

Hear me roar.

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