I wrote this poem many years ago, on the subject of addiction. More than anything else, that loss of control frightens me to no end, which is why I often get so angry at addicts that I personally know, because they personify what I fear the most.
This is for you guys, who lost the handle.
Ever hungry, ate my fill,
Always thirsty, drank a gallon,
Ever horny, fucked all night,
Always betting, up a grand,
Ever fiending, just got high,
Always drunk, but I worked all week,
Just one lap dance, one last shot,
Lucky sevens, coming up!
Tie me man, one last hit,
I won’t get aids, that’s faggot shit,
Just one more,
It’s never enough,
I need it always, it tucks me in,
Wipes my chin, dries my eyes,
It never asks why,
And for a moment, I touch the sky,
It lets me down, but it catches me at the bottom,
Rough hands shove me back up,
Tough love, it says,
Up you go, but you’ll be back,
And I’ll be waiting,