Monthly Archives: June 2006

The Long Walk

As I am walking home today, I happened to notice several women pushing their whelps in strollers.  On all, I noticed small necklaces with little jeweled children hanging from their lipid-laden necks.

Why is it so important for these sows to broadcast to all the world the number of moving melons they have passed through their busy birth canals?  Is it perhaps because now that they have become disgustingly unattractive, they need the world to know that once upon a time it was an entrance as well?

It is these very soccer mom types that always put me off on the notion of marriage.  Even when I was just a wee lad, I would see these prodigious mini-van drivers, and sneer in disgust at their frosted hair, and psuedo-lesbian haircuts.  Lets fact it, long hair = better.  It certainly doesn’t help when the extreme de-feminication comes usually after they have let themselves go way past the point of “honey, I’m working late tonight” hooker party, on the “loving” husbands part.

Do they look at themselves?  These soap-opera loving, tsk-tsking, news regurgitating blobs of fleshy matron-ness, do they ever realize that their husbands watch desperate housewives too, so that they can have a different image in their minds as they are attempting to find that filthy muff before they can roll over and call it a night?

It is that bland, suburban portion of our country that is inherently despicable, quivering lumps of force-fed opinion.  Working in a group home just makes you see how much we all live in one. 

Group Home America,

Welcome everyone.

Introduction

Hello, and welcome to Tobas writes YOUR life dot, com.

Why does Tobas write your life?  Because he can, damn it, and he can do it well.

Shakespeare? Faulkner? Hemingway? Tucker max? IDIOTS!

Come and experience the world of Tobas writes your life, and read about adventure, skullduggery, horror, life, death, love, and several other high states of human arousal.

This is just the start people.  In time, there will be poetry, stories, music, artwork, and, thats not all.

Services will be available, T-shirts, custom greeting cards, the works, and some contests.

Ah, but all in good time, for now, sit back and enjoy the coming filth.

 

-Tobas